Thursday, January 24, 2008

Larry Brown as George Costanza

George: "You have no idea of the magnitude of this thing.
If she is allowed to infiltrate this world then George Costanza as you know him
ceases to exist. You see, right now I have Relationship George. But there is
also Independent George. That's the George you know, the George you grew up
with... Movie George, Coffee Shop George, Liar George, Bawdy George."

Jerry: "I love that George."

George: "Me too, and he's dying. If Relationship George
walks through this door, he will kill Independent George. A George divided
against itself cannot stand!"

- From the Seinfeld episode
"The Pool Guy" (thanks to
this site for
the exact quote)

Two of Larry Brown's former teams met last night in what could best be described as an exhibition game for the Detroit Pistons. The Pistons allowed the Sixers to hang around for awhile, but looked highly disinterested en route to a 86-78 victory. Rip Hamilton shot 9 of 12 for 21 points and seemed to do just about whatever he wanted to do offensively. Willie Green paced the Sixers with 16 points and inexplicably, someone allowed Samuel Dalembert to take 11 shots (he made 4 of them).

The game itself was fairly trivial and sort of boring. What was far more interesting than Basketball Yoda's former teams colliding is the Philadelphia magazine article by Anthony Gargano, where Larry Brown reveals (note: all of the daily locals mentioned this article today):

- He wants to coach again, but he has no desire to coach the Sixers as long as Mo Cheeks is the coach saying he "could never stab Mo in the back like that".

- He talked Allen Iverson into buying a suit for his press conferences. Iverson, obviously not liking the suit, took it off, balled it up, and threw it in a locker. Brown and a trainer picked up the suit and straightened it out.

- If he was going to write a book, he would call it "I’ve Been Motherfucked 1,200 Times", because "he coached Allen Iverson for 600 games, took him out of a game two times, and both times, Iverson called him a motherfucker 600 times."
Very good article by an underrated write (Gargano should write more often). Larry Brown is as conflicted a human being as there has ever been in sports. He's just like George Costanza.

You see, there is Coach Brown and Larry Brown. Larry Brown goes to quaint bagel shops with Anthony Gargano and Calvin Booth and waxes poetically about how much he loved Allen Iverson, wishes he had stayed in one place his whole career, and could never stab Mo Cheeks in the back.

Coach Brown, on the other hand, quits jobs before things become too difficult, runs from long term job commitments despite expressing a desire to retire from whatever "dream job" he had at the time, and had absolutely no problem stabbing Rick Carlisle in the back when he took the Detroit job, and had no issue with talking to Cleveland about their coaching vacancy when he was still Detroit coach and fresh off of a championship.

If Coach Brown had walked into that bagel shop and saw Larry Brown talking to Anthony Gargano, he would have killed Larry Brown, marched into Ed Stefanski's office and practically demanded the job. You see? Larry Brown just can't help himself. He's a man divided. As George Costanza taught us, a George divided against itself cannot stand. So it is with Larry Brown.

I'm not saying he will be the Sixers coach or that he's even angling for the job, but I am saying is the man is slightly full of shit. No Sixer fan would bat an eye if Brown was given the job because he's that good, but how long would he be here before he picked up and went somewhere else to be given more power, more money, more talent to work with, or because it was somewhere else? Again.

No comments: